Thursday, October 4, 2007

Final 7 Sentence Story

1. Character opens up refrigerator as his morning habit.
2. He sits down in his entertainment dome after making a snack.
3. Once he begins to watch TV he hears a loud banging on the door.
4. He becomes very nervous and attempts to drown out the sound by turning his music up
5. The neighbor refuses to go away, brining out paranoia in the character. He again turns up the volume.
6. The house begins to shake at its foundation and before the character can react his house crumbles around him.
7. He is forced to be outside for the first time in years and realizes that he was missing so much in his life by being consumed by television.

2 comments:

Shane C Mann said...

- I like the idea of someone knocking at the door as being a way to show the character from being scared of the outside world.
-what are u going to show to demonstrate that he was missing the outsidde world?
- I think it would be good to show him hiding under a table and then slowly comming out, slowly opens his eyes like his eyes are hurt from the brightness of the outside light, then he slowly gets excited to see grass, bugs, flies, butterflies, ants....which could excite someone who has not been outside for a long time.

jim said...

How does the audience know that the character is afraid of the outside world? Couldn't viewers just as easily assume that the main character is scared of that specific person banging on the door? For example, perhaps he owes the guy outside money, or maybe the dude is a hitman or something. Your main character's reaction would be similar for both of those situations, so the audience could possibly infer either of those things... but you of course want them to know that the main character is scared out of the outside world in general. I wonder if there's a way to show that specific fear...

Were you planning to put anything specific on the television? It seems you could use the tv shows to enhance your theme. Perhaps the main character watches nothing but news shows that sensationalize violence, natural disasters, and other forms of social discord, thus perpetuating his all-encompassing fear of the outside world.

Shane has an interesting idea about the end of the story and the way nature could interact with him. You could possibly add another layer to the story by having the main character reject some part of nature at the beginning, and accept it at the end (i.e., shuts the window on a butterfly, then is curious and awestruck by the same butterfly at the end).

Actually, I almost think that regardless of your specific ending, it would be nice to establish the character as afraid of the environment right at the beginning of the story (to push the character from one extreme to another over the arc of the plot). For example, maybe the main character hears a noise, looks outside quickly & nervously, draws the curtains shut, then breathes a sigh of relief and walks over to his refrigerator and the story continues from where you wrote it.